It is a bright and beautiful Saturday morning. In one week, my third daughter will be getting married. The whole family is abuzz with anticipation – and a little bit of dread.
As you know (if you’ve read my posts recently), my first daughter got married in late May. And despite all predictions to the contrary, that event went off with narry a hitch. I give all of the credit for that success to Meredith as she invested a great deal of thought and attention to the event.
But the second marriage of the summer could easily be characterized as a more free-spirited event. Bailey is a beautiful child of God. And she has a great sense of intuition. But planning and discipline are not her primary strengths. Her idea of getting married was to invite her family and a few friends to a ceremony and a simple party. Earlier this year, she would have said that doing more than this would be ostentatious and thriftless. In fact, her sense of utility and maximum stewardship expressed itself when she decided to wear a previously-worn wedding dress.
But her betrothed (and his family) did not share the same sense of the matter. So Bailey has adjusted. In odd ways, the rehearsal dinner may be a more formal event that the wedding reception itself. But that’s OK with me. I want Bailey to be happy. And Bailey wants to integrate everyone into the festivities. So she has learned adaptability and grace.
Of course, all of this comes when she is trying to finish her bachelor’s degree. Cindy and I had only one real requirement for the wedding: we wanted Bailey to earn her degree BEFORE she got married. This was a practical requirement because we know that once married, family priorities would necessarily outweigh personal priorities. So we held firm – and she has delivered. A little over ten days ago, she pushed through a compacted summer school session where she earned her last few credits. She now can put B.A. on her CV.
Of course, she has been swamped – and emotionally overwhelmed. She has only known Daniel for about nine months. So she is still learning how to deal with conflicts between herself and her future husband. She is also becoming an adult (as she just turned 21 about eight months ago). She finished her B.A. in three years. She is planning a wedding. And she has secured a first job that starts after her return from the honeymoon. And they will be moving away from friends and family as they start their life in Wichita. Wow, she has been busy.
And between her frenzy and my wife’s frenzy (juggling a job, raising a grand-daughter, and planning for two weddings), it has been an emotional blender over the past few weeks.
But I do think that we have finally reached a point of equilibrium (or emotional exhaustion). And everyone appears ready to get Bailey and Daniel married – and into their new lives. I want to thank everyone for their prayers to get us to this point. Less than a week ago, I had my doubts about whether the event would occur or not. But the train is on the tracks, the engines is fired up and the whistle has been blown by the conductor. We are finally underway. And just in time.
While this event will not go as “smoothly” (i.e., per a scripted plan) as the previous wedding, that is part of the bride’s “plan” for the wedding. Spontaneity and joy are Bailey’s hallmark traits. So we have dealt with spontaneous conflagrations. Now it’s time for some spontaneous joy and celebrations.
Cindy and I must now lean on each other and double-team our way to our own joy in this event. And Bailey and Daniel must begin to learn how to work together as a team. After a few years, we will get to see what kind of a team they become. I’m putting my money on Rowan and Martin.
-Roo